by Julie Conley
Grove City, Ohio, USA
My first job after college was working for a small apartment complex as a rental agent. I enjoyed a lot of the job — interacting with residents, solving problems, and meeting new people. The downside was working with the owner and manager. I became the resident flunky.
I was publicly reprimanded and not allowed to express my opinions or make decisions. Many times, I felt berated for being who I was and humiliated for what I was doing. I figured this must be what work is all about. It was enough to make me question my skills and wonder how awful my opinions must be.
After two years, I found an entry-level office position at a restaurant chain with offices near my home. I started as a receptionist on a large switchboard.
Ann was my new boss, a tiny woman who commanded respect. Bright, cheerful, gracious, yet hard as nails. No one tried to take advantage of her because she knew her business and knew she did a good job.
I let Ann know about each break I took from the phones. I took care of our “honors system” snack cabinet in the lunchroom, and I checked in with her each time I sorted the money and told her what I ordered. I managed the company vehicles, which often led to minor disputes. I let Ann know of every occurrence.
One particularly bleak day, Ann called and asked me to come to her office. She closed the door, and I heard the theme music from Jaws playing in my head. One knows what a closed door means! She proceeded to tell me how intelligent I was. She reminded me how detailed I was and what pride I took in my work. “But,” she said, “You don’t trust yourself. You do not need to justify everything you do. I trust you.”
I was speechless. In a few seconds, she had rebuilt the self-esteem I had lost with my previous employer. It may have seemed like nothing to her, but suddenly, I knew what makes for a good boss. I learned that even though I was an employee, I had the right to be treated with respect.
It struck me too that no one, not even my superior, has a right to belittle me, shout at me, or use foul language at me. I learned that I am a valuable person, and no one can take that away from me. This may seem common sense, but sometimes the basic lessons are the hardest ones to learn.
I was fortunate enough a few years ago to see Ann and tell her the impact she had on my professional life. Thanks, Ann! I’ll never forget you.
Available in The Best of HeroicStories, Volume 2.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 4:06 — 3.1MB)
We never know how much power even a small, seemingly insignificant positive comment of ours can have on the one we are talking to. Even just a celebratory gesture! We don’t know what other people are going through as we interact with them every day, or even just in passing. It can literally change a life. On the other hand, even a (to us) playful jibe can destroy a soul who is struggling. What we think is an affectionate nickname can feel like a stab wound every time it’s used. “Kidding” someone about a previous mistake or stumble can corrode like acid.
Treat everyone the way you’d want to be treated!
Kodos to Ann, and to Julia for learning this lesson.
I’m so glad you had the opportunity to let her know the impact she had on your life. Your feedback may have been just what she neeed!