by Jennifer
California, USA
As a young child, I had severe depression. I had never known what it was like to wake up in the morning and feel like I deserved to be alive. It was a struggle not to commit suicide. I don’t know what caused this in me so young, and I’m not sure I care to know.
As a teenager, my depression got worse, and I acted out by drinking and smoking. Mostly, I drank to attempt to dull the constant pain I was in.
My parents didn’t know how to react to my behavior at all. They overreacted and punished me more and more without attempting to figure out why I might be doing such self-destructive things. The punishments only served to make me more depressed, and I felt less and less like I deserved to be alive.
I moved across the country to attempt to make things better for myself, and in a way, I did. I began a career and met a man who was willing to encourage and love me. Still, my feelings of suicide and depression did not subside.
As I lived with this man, I realized he was childish and irresponsible and did not support me as I thought he did. After four years with him, I decided to move out on my own.
With unending support and love from three wonderful friends, I left. After a month, I realized that my feelings of rage were gone and it was no longer a struggle to wake up. I no longer fought with feelings of suicide.
Previously, I had no idea what it was like to make a major decision and have the love and support of anyone, let alone three separate people. By supporting me through a tough time, they showed me that people really can care about me and that I really can make things work out on my own.
Most people will never know the difference a little support can make in someone’s life. For my entire life, I have tried to lift my depression. I had accepted the fact that I would be depressed for the rest of my life and that I would always struggle to live through just one more day. I can never thank any of my three friends enough or do anything for them that would adequately repay what they have done for me. I can only pledge to help someone else move beyond depression one day.
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Thanks so much for sharing – I think your story in itself is a way to use your experience to help others… I was impressed that you realized that the man who appeared to be supportive was not, and that you moved on- that is a huge step for anyone. Kudos!
It is also a story that leaves me wanting to know more! I would love to know how you are doing now.
Hi Leo!
Thanks for all the effort running HS 🙂
Just a “technical” note: What happened to the “like” buttons? I was trying to give a “thumbs up” to this story and just couldn’t find the button. Did you remove those or do I have a problem here?
Best Regards.
I removed them basically for lack of use. They added some “weight” to the web site that made it slower/bigger than I thought it needed to be. If there’s a large outcry I can bring them back, but for now the best way to show your appreciation is to leave a comment. 🙂 Thanks!
Depression, or indeed any mental illness, should not be born alone. Help is available and it doesn’t have to be through medication. People helping people, as the story shows, have magnificent power to help a person recover and move into a different head-space. It is a fact, that a person suffering from depression may not be in a position to reach out for help. It is therefore so important that someone else cares enough to throw them a life-line and thus help them begin their journey to a sane and joyful way of living. This story is a perfect example of this happening. Thank you for sharing it.