As a young child, I had severe depression. I had never known what it was like to wake up in the morning and actually feel like I deserved to be alive. It was a struggle not to commit suicide. I don’t know what caused this in me so young, and I’m not sure I care to know.
As a teenager, my depression got worse, and I acted out, by both drinking and smoking. Mostly, I drank, to attempt to dull the constant pain I was in.
My parents didn’t know how to react to my behavior at all. They overreacted, and punished me more and more, without attempting to figure out why I might be doing such self-destructive things. The punishments only served to make me more depressed, and I felt less and less like I deserved to be alive.
I moved across the country to attempt to make things better for myself, and in a way I did. I began a career, and met a man that was willing to encourage and love me. Still, my feelings of suicide and depression did not subside.
As I lived with this man, I realized he was childish, irresponsible, and did not support me as I thought he did. After four years with him, I decided to move out on my own.
With unending support and love from three of my friends, I left, and began to support myself totally. After a month, I realized that my feelings of rage were gone, that it was no longer a struggle to wake up, and I no longer fought with feelings of suicide.
Previously I had no idea what it was like to make a major decision and have the love and support of anyone, let alone three separate people. By supporting me through a tough time, they showed me that people really CAN care about me, and that I really can make things work out on my own.
Most people will never know the difference that just a little support can make in one’s life. For my entire life, I have tried to lift my depression, and had accepted the fact that I would be depressed for the rest of my life, that I would always struggle to live through just one more day. I can never thank any of my three friends enough, or do anything for them personally that would adequately repay what they have done for me. I can only pledge to help someone else to move beyond depression one day.